


Two Stars That Drifted Apart

by artofvillainy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Friendship/Love, M/M, Repressed Memories, Sad, Starbucks, Stucky - Freeform, bucky is good now, haunted by memories, lots of fluffy stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:09:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artofvillainy/pseuds/artofvillainy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is being haunted by his memories, so Steve and Bucky go for a walk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Stars That Drifted Apart

**Author's Note:**

> My first work on here, hope you enjoy it!

Faded sounds of blades caressing metal and beeping of medical machinery were later replaced by an ear piercing scream.

Bucky had bolt up in his bed, his breathing coming out as short pants as beads of sweat rolled down his face. He clenched his hands on the mattress, his metal hand ripping out the material without him realizing.

He looked around, twisting his head to the sides frantically for any sign of the evil midget. His breathing started to ease as he realized there was no one in his room, no blades, no medical machinery, no nothing.

He looked at his side and a small smile crept on his face in sight of the muscular blond lying besides him in bed.  
Bucky had always felt safer and more complete when he had Steve around.

He relaxed and looked down at the blond man sleeping with his mouth slightly open and the blanket thrown to the side. Bucky fixed the blanket and dragged it further on Steve's torso so he wouldn't be cold.

He took a sip from his water laying on the end table, then took off his shirt that was soaked with his sweat and threw it across the room.

He lied back down taking a deep breath, he was cold but at least he could sleep better when he knew that Steve was right beside him.

****

 

Bucky's night terrors continued and he was woken up by buried memories one more time. His eyes adjusted to the little light seeping through the curtains and he decided that it was not possible for him to sleep after the nightmares.

After covering Steve up with the blanket, Bucky took a shower to empty his thoughts and wash away his sweat coated skin.

It showed 7:43 when he started to prepare breakfast for everyone. Bucky was kind of scared that he would burn the toast or overcook the bacon since he just had watched Sam and sometimes Steve make them.

He heard a sigh of relief as he flipped the bacon on the pan, the oil sizzling with the contact of meat.

"Bucky, I love you man." Sam said with a pleased tone when he saw he didn't have to make breakfast this morning.

Bucky just gave him a small nod and a smile. He liked living here, with his friends, people who he could trust, he didn't have to be alone any longer.

Natasha followed him with a loud groan and an unhappy look plastered across her pretty face.

"Steve got in the bathroom and I have to tinkle." she said as she sat down on the table, ruffling her hair which just made it messier.

Soon enough all four sat by the table and picked on their breakfast which was a little overcooked.

Bucky felt his eyes getting heavier and heavier but he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want the memories to surface again.

He got changed and slipped on his shoes.

"Going for a walk?" he heard Steve's voice behind him.

"Yeah." Bucky breathed out as he opened the front door.

"Yeah? Care if I join?" Steve asked as he slipped on his jacket, even if Bucky said no, Steve would come, he was determined.

And of course Bucky couldn't utter the word out to Steve.

They walked out together, a deep silence settling between two. Bucky wasn't disturbed by it, unlike Steve he liked the silence.

Steve eyed Bucky's ponytail," Why don't you cut your hair Buck?" he asked out of the blue.

Bucky shrugged then mumbled, "How random are you?"

Steve laughed, "No but seriously, how about getting your hair cut in short, you know like the old days?!"

A blush crept up on Bucky's cheeks "I don't want to look old." he mumbled under his breath.

Steve stretched an eyebrow at his words, "Come on Buck, you are not old!" he laughed.

"Technically we're 95 year olds and I like my hair this way so I don't look old." he responded.  
Steve let out another laugh and Bucky smiled to the sound of it.

"Punk."  
Steve smiled at the memory, "Jerk."

After that the silence between them melted into their old inside jokes and laughter.

The two men stood silently by the shore under a tree near by but the sun shone on Bucky's tired eyes and his metal arm spreading specks of light as he fumbled his thumbs together.

They just stood there, listening the silence after their loud and tiring laughter.

The blue hit the shore lightly and drew back into infinity, Bucky closed his eyes a little longer than a blink, just to rest.

"How does it feel?" Steve asked, once more breaking the silence.

Bucky looked up to him, just to see Steve looking at the ocean, his blue eyes tracing the horizon line.

"How does what feel?" Bucky asked following Steve's gaze landing on his metal arm.

Oh, Bucky thought, _that._

He looked down to it as he let go of his hands grip. He clenched the metal arm, his hand forming into a tight fist.

No, this was what Bucky was trying to do from the beginning, to not let the memories win.

His anger grew and he clenched his fist just a little tighter, he hated the question.

How does it supposed to feel _when you can't feel anything._

But it was Steve asking.

Bucky's fist relaxed and he inspected his arm, the Soviet Star was half covered by his shirt.

"It, uh..." he began taking a deep breath.

"I didn't have this sort of power before, it's not like machine gun or a sniper, not like any gun, it's a part of me." he looked down to his feet, avoiding to meet Steve's gaze.

"I _am_ a part of a weapon." Bucky said with an intake of a shaky breath.

"You are the only person who can understand, having a power that you do not have any control over. It just happened to us, for many purposes, some good but for me mostly bad, horrible things. _We're two stars that drifted apart, Steve._ All I can do is hope that I can recover all the lives I took by saving as many, besides you, besides Sam and Natasha. And knowing that I have the power to do so makes me feel fine, I guess." Bucky finished with a ghost of a sad smile, daring to look up at Steve who had his eyes laid on Bucky's tired ones.

"And do you know what the worst part is?" Bucky asked with a whisper.

Steve shook his head lightly as Bucky's cold metal hand rested on his cheek.

"I _can't_ feel anything, Steve."

Their voices died as shades of blue washed away the silence.


End file.
